Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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