I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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