I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
