I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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