I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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