I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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