My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
