please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
