Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
