From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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