Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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