that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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