omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to fling myself into the sun
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
