yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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