We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
