I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
