The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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