Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
