i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
