Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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