I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
