I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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