I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
