some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
