david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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