he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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