The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize