Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
