I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
