And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
