At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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