come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
