Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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