just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
