Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
