I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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