This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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