she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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