He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
