Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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