he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
