dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
