Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
