D3 body, D1 cock
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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