morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
