how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
