is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
