Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
