Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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