Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
