Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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