her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
