when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
