he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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