So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
