a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
