I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
