SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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