I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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