Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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