i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
