The maid of honor just puked.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize