The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
