just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
