This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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