is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
