he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
