Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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